Jokes spring

And so it turns out. I wanted to do something for the first day of vacation, and then you notice that has to work out.

The signal ' SOS ' inexperienced young radio operator apprehended literally.

A rainy day in October. cemetery. silence. Drunk engraving maker deliberately knocks on the.
freshly installed tombstone: Peter Petrov. was born. died. and m. Dr.. Behind him.
two unfortunate grandmother, cousin of the deceased, the process control. ask:.
- Young people and can be shaped as letters attributed to lower young: ' Beloved Petenka from loving sister and aunt? '.
- Yes, me on the dick, even though ' Happy New Year! '.

Of the explanatory.
' It started to rain and an umbrella, I was not, so I got out of the sandbox mold and went with him.
The children in the rain still did not play '.

In the shop:.
- Excuse me, you have ground coffee or instant?.
- Soluble.
- A good one?.
- Well, I do not know. People take, dissolved.

Stood on the sidelines of a snowman wearing a reflective vest and cap the old police.
Black and white stick, too, he had.
Passing by drivers of reduced speed and honking ecstatically.
Passing by traffic cops stopped, got out and began to be photographed with.
this snowman. Drivers passing by began to stop and take pictures.
cops, taking photos with snowman.

I was lying in his lap, ten minutes, he stroked my hair and smiles.
And suddenly says: ' Just a skull with skin and covered with hair, but how beautiful! '.

Hello! .
It is good that we have never met in life, would have killed each other. Good-bye!.



- Do I sound so stupid?.
- You see, my dear, it's not so easy. I am always overwhelmed.
feeling that you're stupid does not seem.

That childhood was over, I personally knew when the parents at home, began to hide from me brandy.

One pathologist liked to joke. Out of his office, approached.
to the patient near the procedural reading of his diagnosis, and with utter displeasure:.
- Damn, I'm going to rest tomorrow.

My brother washes.
Mom at the computer: Vanya, you then someone writes a message: ' I'm in the shit! '.
Brother: Write ' I'm no' and put a sad smiley....

Brought to the hospital this drunken peasant, robbed, and a little dirty. look to.
these three, or even four different doctors. While all of this bagpipe stretched, little man lamented the money, and sobered otbolel. doctor:.
- What are complaining?.
- The lack of money.
- Strangely, I have - too!.
- So the epidemic.

Because he was a guy ' wherever it ', he was forever getting any girls ' even though someone '.

- Do you know how to interest an idiot?.
- How?.
- Tomorrow will tell.

Sometimes the woman is sweet and of good simply because not enough is beautiful, to allow yourself to be harmful.

It seems to me that the Internet using their own language is a.
For example the phrase ' This is the most readable and well-known author in the world ' is translated into Russian as ... dv, who is it?? '.

In the doctor's office floods ambal:.
- Doctor! .
The doctor cautiously looks around:.
- A young man, and who are you going to fuck something?.

Silicone breast - not just decoration!.



mushrooms. They are different! .

If you can not play squash, do not worry - just find yourself an idiot for arguing.

I try to be photographed with her friends at a distance, so you can cut yourself.
Friendship ends, and good avatars are always needed!.

- I do not know about you, but I love hot dogs and eat them with gusto!.
- When grown on Freudianism etymologists will be engaged in these words - ' sosiska' - cha appetite dramatically poubavitstso!.

- Daddy, why did the old man threw the first two times, and seine caught fish?.
- And this is because my son, that the fish was out of coverage.

Women are offended by us saying that we, men, and have only one.
But the more they resent us when this is what one of them and we do not want to. ) ) ) ).

Yesterday was a day of Workhorse: fissure, fracture, hall, scrap, bummer.

If the life you bet *.
then she gets up,.
means she likes you.
so what do you parishsya?.

No matter how much of me did not say good, I always have something to add!.

- You probably are not compatible. Who is he sign?.
- He - moron. For the life of.

In order to understand what was the last shot of an extra, you need to drink it.

A country sorely lacking heating. Absolutely impossible to get out from under the warm morning,.
cozy blankets and warm up your heels on the ice floor. The bedroom should be warm floor. This time.
A person is not peculiar to sleep alone. These are two. Generally, two is better and warmer. Although, if we compare.
even a very hot sex and hot skin under the arm to wake up still does not want.
The worse drown, the pleasant with. HCS brings!.

Guess How drunk was crawling snake?. Right!.



And come December 2012. And appeared in the sky the asteroid. And he began to fall to Earth. And the reign.
Panic in the world is coming to the End of the Aztec calendar. And the asteroid crashed to the stone.
Aztec Calendar. And there was dust. And there was the shock wave. And when the dust has dissipated, the site of the destroyed.
calendar was a new calendar of the Aztecs, to 32 118 years. And lying next to another rock, less. and.
was an inscription on it: ' The next calendar will be sent to the planet exactly at the closing of the old.
calendar, thank you for using our calendar stone! '.

- What is on vacation sobiraeshsya do?.
- Fuck everything that moves. And you?.
- I'll try not to move.

Turned out to be an hour of free time. Warm autumn weather. He sat down on a park bench, with the package of juice.
I read with a mobile guide to pickup because I have a strained with the opposite sex. And then.
girls sack with questions: - The young and how much time? .
treat? . ? .

- Let's take a drink.
- Atlichny toast!.

Girl: Honey, you just save me from pregnancy.
The guy finishes:- Be- D -e- w -i- i- iis!.

At our entrance are people of different nationalities, as they say full Internationale! .
Russian only I, but in spite of it in Russian is still communicate! .
German deaf.
He is something, in fact, FSUs, however, as I do, too! .
It's hard to believe, but the deaf German spoke in Russian! .
word, but clearly, without accent and with a look!.

Germany. Father and son out of a brothel.
- Dad, what is love?.
- You know, my son is wonderful, for it does not pay. It came up with Russian.

- Sanya, he said that we need to the north. Where on the map north?.
- Lev, we are in the metro. North remained at the top!.

Today brought the documents to the new employee by the name of Shmarov.
I went to look: exactly Shmarov!.

Got something to the eyes anecdote.
The girl wrote her mother a letter:.
' Dopogaya mommy! . It forces me to make love.
always and everywhere. Ha balcony when I cook, stipayu underwear and even when sitting at the computer yokutseozhuen.
^.
Posted by anecdote familiar to ICQ. A minute later came the answer:.
- Trailer is not understood: come kryakozyabry.

As soon as emptied a keg of wine, in the eyes of Prince Ivan gradually turned into a frog princess.

Perturbed by drivers who do not understand how you can put the signs so mindlessly,.
waiting for traffic cops happy, ready to provide them with paid consulting on this issue.

The wife to her husband after the Japanese restaurant:.
- And I liked the Japanese philosophy that they believe that a good dinner.
twice to have sex.
- Dura. That they are our proverb: ...
in relation to their traditional flatware.

Published rating of Russian multimilitsionerov.

- So you're the guy!!! .
- And you're that jerk had not dismantled. ?)).

Childhood - the happiest years of his life, but not for children!.

Opened in Moscow Circus on the water! .

Not worth it, damn it, an unknown hairdresser say ' Surprise me'.

On the wedding night the newly-made husband asks:.
- Honey, tell me frankly, I'm the first man who sleeps with you?.
- Well, if you're going to bed - then yes!.

Win, happened, all enemies - and boredom overcomes this,.
that you begin to do harm to the right and the left to quickly acquire new.

@ izdets - an abstract understanding of the situation in which under the influence of various factors you are suffering colossal fiasco.

If you went to bed at night in the shoes - the reason the morning headache.

- Do you know why we're going to die one day?.
- Why?.
- Because kill each other!.

- Dad, you're one else wanted - a girl or a boy?.
- Actually, my son, I just wanted to have a good time.

The lessons of physical training designed to show.
physical advantages of teachers and students emphasize the physical defects.

With the first child 's parents boil everything, with the second - only the nipples, with a third nipple pour.
hot water, and if the nipple and the fourth dragged a dog bites - that is the problem of child.
how to get it back!.